#7 - Christine Lamothe - The bear, the breaking and the being

A nickname can be a costume, a shield, or a doorway. When Christine Lamothe spent decades introducing herself as “Bear,” it wasn’t branding, it was survival, community, and a long cocoon of inner work. Now she’s taking her given name back and sharing what changed her from the inside out, from breaking circles in the 90s to the wide silence of Nunavut in the Canadian Arctic.

We talk about how breaking (not “breakdancing”) shaped her confidence and identity, and how moving north forced a shift from competition to cooperation. Christine describes building youth dance programs in Iqaluit, creating performances that brought elders and community together, and learning Inuit Qaujimajatuqangit, traditional knowledge that values observation, patience, and collective responsibility. That Arctic chapter also raises hard questions about colonization, belonging, and what it really means to show up with respect.

From there, we follow her into the wellness world with a grounded lens: yoga lineages, massage therapy, somatic healing, and the daily practice of staying sovereign in your own mind. Christine shares how teachers like Mooji helped her see thoughts as suggestions rather than commands, and why meditation can be a practical tool for anxiety and self-worth. We also get a clear, real-world explanation of Panchakarma, the three-week Ayurvedic cleanse in India that she says helped her focus, integrate trauma, and feel more like “Christine” than ever.

If you’ve been craving more presence, more courage, and a more honest definition of your best life, this conversation is a strong place to start. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your week.

https://www.instagram.com/theawakenedbear/

Transcript

Welcome And Why Authenticity Matters

Peter Kolakovic 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. In a world filled with distractions and challenges, many of us find ourselves searching for a deeper connection with our true selves. In this episode, I speak with Christine Lamotte, also known as Awakened Bear. And Christine is a transformational coach, a dancer, a yogi, and an entrepreneur, and she shares her journey from the world of breakdancing or breaking, to self-discovery in the Arctic, to teaching yoga, and traveling to India to partake in Panchakarma, a traditional Ayurvedic detoxification and rejuvenation program designed to cleanse the body of toxins and restore balance to the mind, body, and consciousness. In our conversation, we explore her insights on embracing your authentic self, the power of community, and how dance can be a powerful tool for personal growth. Christine has a unique story that blends her passion for dance with her personal journey of healing and self-discovery. Her name reflects a significant transformation in her life, and she uses it to inspire others. Christine earned her nickname during her time in the breaking community in the 90s. She was initially named Tactics, but embraced the nickname given to her by a friend, Little Bear, symbolizing her love for dance and the journey of self-acceptance. After years of growth and inner work, she eventually transitioned to Awakened Bear, representing her connection to her true self and her mission to help others awaken their inner truths. Christine's journey eventually took her to Nunavut, a remote area in the Canadian Arctic, where she sought a deeper connection with nature and community. Her initial visit to teach breaking to youth opened her eyes to the challenges faced by the indigenous communities in the area. The experience was transformative, leading her to create sustainable programs that leveraged dance as a powerful medium for connection and healing. Christine encourages individuals to embrace their unique stories and experiences. Understanding where you come from and acknowledging your past allows you to move forward with authenticity. She believes that every experience contributes to our growth and shapes who we are. Finding a supportive community is vital for personal growth. Christine highlights that the connections we build with others can propel us forward on our journey. Seek out those who uplift and inspire you and be open to collaborative experiences. She also emphasizes the need to listen to your intuition and honor your feelings. This requires stepping outside your comfort zone, but is essential for true transformation. So please give this episode a listen, please like it, please share it, and please enjoy my conversation with Christine Lamotte. As always, thanks for listening.

How Breaking Gave Her A Name

Peter Kolakovic 3:37

Christine Lamot, welcome to my best life. Thank you. So your online moniker, well, not just online, but in life as well, is the awakened bear. So how did you get the nickname Bear? And what exactly is an awakened bear?

Christine Lamothe 4:01

Okay, well, diving right in. So actually, my in the 90s, I started doing a dance that really appealed to me at the time that I wanted to learn it as a child, but my big brother wouldn't teach me, which is breaking, which the low the media generally calls breakdancing, but those on the inside call it breaking. So I would be considered a B girl, and the boys would be the B boys. So we don't refer to ourselves as breakdancers, just for the record. And yeah, I wanted to learn. And then finally in the 90s, 97, I started doing this dance. And I had named myself Tactics, which was also Tactics, which was also my graffiti name, Tactics, because that's one of the four elements that we considered one of the four elements of hip-hop was breaking, DJing, MCing, graffiti, and then later like the fashion of it. But so I was tactics, but in the tradition of breaking, you do not name yourself. Generally, it's your crew member or your community that sees the way you dance, and they offer you a name, and you generally take it if it feels in cohesion. So I love that that my friend called, he's like, You look like a bear. You don't look like a tactics. You look like a little bear when you're dancing. He's like, I think you should be little bear. That was in the year 2000. And so I said, Yeah, first of all, I like being named by somebody. And I like that name. So I really took on that name, little bear. And then I was that. As you know, I lived in the Arctic for a long time, and that name just fit because the bear is quite a symbolic animal. And there's a lot to that name. For me, I was bear for 23 years, some form of bear, and I'll get to awakened bear. But I had a lot of trauma. You know, I was adopted and there was a lot of stuff, and it almost felt like it wasn't. I realized now in hindsight, now that I no longer see myself as a bear, like not that I identified as a bear, but just I go back to Christine now, is that it kept me safe, you know, to be bear. It was like, it was like the mama bear was holding me while I cocooned and did my inner work for all those years. And then when I felt ready to come out, I became Christine. So that's that. But then the awakened bear was later on in about 2018. I was part of a coaching community and we're transformational coaches. And they're like, we don't see you as a little bear. Like you're not little, like you're small, but you're so you're not little. Like you really speak your mind, you're really big, actually. You know, when people hug me, they're always like, Oh, you've I always thought you were so much bigger, but you're so tiny. Which is the little bear because it's like little, but bears are big. So it's so funny. So the awakened, they're like, We think you're more like awakened bear. Like you're just, you, you, you're just like, that's just what they would say. And it was, I felt quite pretentious actually to take on a name like that. It's like, oh, awakened bear. Like, who does she think she is? But yeah, it just came like that. And and then it just became my cacao company. You know, the cacao that I sell is it's under that brand of awakened bear. And it's to awaken to yourself, like really your natural self. Like it's not to take the persona of the bear so much, but it's to awaken to your truth, your wild inner truth, whatever that looks like to you. So for me, that's kind of part of the journey for awakened bear. Yeah. And then I took the name. Yeah, and then I took the name Christine back as my name, introducing myself as Christine rather than bear for 23 years. I was some form of bear. Always. I never introduced myself as Christine. And then and then Christine came back two, three years ago that I was like, oh, I feel ready to take back the name Christine.

Peter Kolakovic 8:07

Okay, wonderful. So there was a lot in that response that I'd like to explore and dive into. There's the whole break dancing, sorry, not breakdancing, but breaking. There's the whole uh breaking theme and and your lived experience in that environment. You also mentioned uh being adopted, and I think that's that's something we can perhaps talk about. But the first thing I wanted to look at in a bit more depth was you said you lived in the north for a while, and I understand that you lived in Nunavut for a number of years. So, you know, for for folks who are listening who don't know where Nunavut is, it's a far northern region of Canada, the Arctic. It's a pretty remote part of Canada. So what was the specific Arctic call that you felt convinced you to move out to such a remote part of the world?

Adoption And Taking Christine Back

Christine Lamothe 9:06

Okay, well, before I go there, the one piece that I would add about the Christine and the awakened bear and all that before before I got adopted, my natural mother, because in the adoption world we don't say biological mother or birth mother, we say natural mother because she's the natural mother and it gives her more respect. Uh she named me Christine. And then these people adopted me. And without knowing, they also named me Christine.

Peter Kolakovic 9:38

Interesting.

Christine Lamothe 9:40

Yeah, and so it felt really once I was past some of the layers of the veil and saw clearer. I was like, that's an honor, especially Christ's energy. And and I've been, you know, some of my spiritual names are related to like continuously remembers God's name is one of my Hari Simrin in the Kundalini lineage. I was named Hari Kri Hari Simrin Kar, which is princess who continuously remembers God's name. And so that was a long time ago, and I was nowhere near that within myself. It was in my 20s. But you know, all these little hints were like calling me back to that inner well of wisdom. So taking Christine back in the vibration frequency of Saint Christine, which is the name that was given to me in such a powerful way by two families and being baptized twice. And I'm not Christian, but you know, I've been I've been initiated a number of times. So it just felt like to honor that, I needed to, I didn't feel a burden, I felt excited too. So I just wanted to add that little piece. Yes. Now for your Arctic question.

The Arctic Call To Nunavut

Peter Kolakovic 10:51

Yes.

Christine Lamothe 10:52

You know, I was in my late 20s, and I was starting to have more considerations about my role in this life, other than just breaking, which was a huge part of my life. But I had had some some situations, like everybody, that kind of shook things and made me have to look in different ways. So I was like, how do I contribute? But actually, it's not even that. I always wanted to be closer to the land. I've had a cottage my whole life. I had a little dirt bike my dad bought me when I was 11, and I just ripped it through the forests all the time and I got lost all day till I needed gas. That's the only reason I came home was for gas. And I love being outdoors, and I remember a sign handwritten with marker, and it said pow wow in the summer. And I was like, I'd asked my dad, what's a powwow? That just sounds like something I want to go to. And he's like, no, no, no, no, that's not for us. That's for like native people. And I was like, what? I didn't even know the concept of not for us. I didn't know what that meant. And then I had heard, I remember reading in the history books at school. Like, obviously, I did not like the whole way school taught because they were talking about the colonizers, and I was way more interested in the people with the loose hair wearing leather, not all trying to sit in a certain way that held some sort of energy that I just didn't, I did not connect to. And I always liked those people. So I wanted, I've always been drawn to the nature people. So one day, my braking crew that I was part of, they were called Canadian Floor Masters in 2006, they did they created an opportunity for us to go out there and teach breaking for a week with the kids. And I was just near the end of my program in uh recreation facility management. And not having graduated high school, it was like one of the only programs I could get into at that time, and there was no math. So I was like, oh yeah, let's do it. Plus, I like recreation. It kind of worked anyway. But so I went up to the Arctic Tirkhalouid, the capital of Nunavut. Nunavut's a territory created, I think, in 1999. And I went there in 2006 to teach breaking to the high school kids with 10 of us. We were 10. And it was seriously the most magical experience that any of us, we were like brought to tears. The it grew in popularity over the weeks that we were there, that elders were getting involved, the children were telling their friends, and it became like the talk of the town, which you think would be easy to have a talk of the town. But how many people do they see going up there trying to change the world? You know, it's like so, but it really did. And and I fell in love with the organizers from up there, and they saw my my love and and we connected, and then they brought me around, and then I got a job up there. Like I had to come back to finish school, and then and then I got a job, and then they created a job for me at the government called Physical Activity Specialist. So I was at the government and they created this job that I would work with communities to try to help people just remember to stay active, at least like give money for certain projects that people had ideas for to just, you know, because we could quickly get bad habits, right? With the temptations of TV, of smoking, of those kind of things, and to always remember to get out and play. So that's what drew me up there in the first place. Well, and then I said that I like the nature. So that's why, because I had an opportunity to go to India as well, to go to Goa and work with at-risk youth on the on the streets there. But I thought, no, I want my I I want to be in my own country, you know. Like I don't need to go over there. We have so much going on here in the Arctic. Sure. Like, yeah, anyway, so much to say about it. But yeah.

Dance Programs For Inuit Youth

Peter Kolakovic 14:58

Okay, well, well, let's dive into that because you know, you're talking about using dance to connect with at-risk youth. And, you know, probably a lot of people that are not familiar with Nunavut don't realize that, you know, some of the issues that individuals, young people are facing in those very remote communities. So can you talk a little bit about specifically how you were using dance to connect with those youth who were, you know, maybe otherwise hard to reach?

Christine Lamothe 15:29

Yes. The initial program was wonderful, but you know, you need sustainability. And I felt so drawn that I just came back. So that was like in March. It was for their March break 2006. I came back to school to finish till April, graduated or whenever the graduation was. So I did that, and then I got a job just for the summer to test out if I liked it. And then I did and I stayed. I'd say that you all risk, all youth are pretty much at risk. That's an age that we are very much at risk for endless things. Our parents most times are not equipped to deal with youth issues, the generational gap. If you're not deeply connected to your kids, they can easily fall through the cracks and be swept away by all sorts of things. And so it's even hard for me to even say at-risk youth up north, because I they're just youth dealing with a ton of stuff. Cultural clashes of times changed and the generations are trying to adapt to what we've imposed on them as you know, non-Indigenous people having gone up there. And just it's it's it's it's really such a multi, multi-faceted dance, you know. Uh, not just the breaking, but I mean the dance of Shakti Shiva up there, the dance of so how I used dance when I decided to move up there is the best ways I knew how was just what I was doing down here. And of course I had to recreate myself because down here is very competitive. You can because there's enough people to create that edge. But up there, it has to be very collaborative because you're not going to add more challenge to people's lives. You want to create community, you want to bring people together and you want to uplift rather than divide. So I got grants to pay for a space, and I I made I made spaces with the churches wherever I could, and I just used their halls and I would, I would get whatever I needed. And yeah, I would teach breaking and we would perform at every festival. A lot of fundraisers would hire us to do their, there'd be the entertainment for their fundraisers. I even brought the kids to the Olympics, like we performed at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. We were part of a Nunavut team and we created a whole show. I got a huge grant to create a show with my youth, not the small ones, but the more teenage ones and early 20s. That was my first big hit, 2007, Canada Winter Games in Whitehorse. So I gave them something to build towards. So we offered a program, and everybody lived in Ottawa, so it was hard to sustain. They had their own way of doing it. But me being on the ground, I could keep a weekly activity alive for them. And then I got this grant opportunity. So I created outfits and a whole choreography, and I hired a throat singer and a DJ, and we created this whole dance mix with throat singing and drum dancing and like nature sounds. And then we did drum dancing live while also breaking with a drum in our hand, and we had these beautiful modern but ancient outfits, and yeah, it was quite magical. And we had our own soundtrack. That was so fun. So that was something to build towards, and we created a name for ourselves. We were called Kaiva, and it's the elders who named it, you know. We asked them, and they that's what they think it should be called. Yeah.

Peter Kolakovic 19:17

Well, that's fantastic. If if there's an online video somewhere with your performance at the Olympics, maybe we can put a link to that in the show notes.

Christine Lamothe 19:27

I don't know, but I know that we danced before Super Tramp came on to perform. And it was Yeah, it was in the BC place that we performed. So incredible. I don't know who was filming that. We may have something. I have I have YouTube videos that I've made, old, old, old and not very well edited, somewhere on there. Kaiva, Kaiva Nunavut, maybe I I know I I know AI found all my things that I've ever been named in. It was pretty cool.

Peter Kolakovic 19:54

Fantastic. Well, we'll we'll look for that, and if we can find something, we'll put it in the show notes. So you're you're working with these at-risk youth. You're doing you're introducing, you know, a genre of dance that obviously is not native to the region, and you know, kind of shaking things up, bringing your own unique energy to this part of the country, this part of the world that is vast, that is very sparsely populated, this kind of silent, remote landscape that is the Arctic. So, can you talk a little bit about how that environment, how, you know, living in that environment and just being in that environment, how did that change your own internal rhythm?

Learning Community From The North

Christine Lamothe 20:47

Well, as I mentioned, that I had to change from competitive to cooperation. And it really, I mean, I was confronted on my colonized mind, you know? And even since I've come home nine years ago, I'm still reflecting on it. I'm matured, you know, I've matured a little more now that I can really look at it. But Nunavut absolutely changed my life. You know, I'm I'm I'm way too ADHD kind of vata. My I like, you know, that I have ideas. I would love to write hundred things, 100 things I've learned from Inuit, you know, because I do feel I could find a hundred things. The pace is completely different. The connection between people, you know, I I whether you like someone or not down there, you're gonna look after them in a way. Like people's houses burned down or whatever, and there might be someone you didn't even like, but you're going to donate something to them. You're gonna help them out. You know, you're you're on a remote island in the Arctic. You're in it together. I mean, I know it's changed a bit since I've The population has increased, especially of like foreigners. So I don't know. The dynamics are different. But and of course, the pandemic happened. So there's everyone has changed since then, I would say, in a lot of ways. And a lot of people are leaving the tiny communities because they don't have like a lot of opportunities. So they move to Kaluit, which is the capital, and then also rank and inlet. There's three time zones in Nunavut. It's like the Ontario, Manitoba, and like Saskatchewan. So that's three time zones, and there's, I don't know, a lot of dialects, but four official dialects. There's such a, you know, there's people who are very traditional in how they really try to get out on the land and they go hunting and they're still living that way. They're still making their clothes out of sealskin. But you can't romanticize that too much. Like there, there's modern things, but I mean it's in a super remote place trying to bring all that together. It's a whole different engine. And it works and it doesn't work. It's a very traumatized place. I mean, they've been colonized, and the religions have come in and completely indoctrinated people, and they live by that. I mean, they, they, there's churches, there's millions, there's a lot of different churches in a very small place. So they're navigating all that. So it was very beautiful and tormenting, and it has forced me to grow in ways that I'm still integrating today. But I did have all my own hunting gear. I had my own skidoo, which I would do skidoo races, which I loved very much. But I also went hunting with my partner of nine years that we were together, and he was a hunter. He was from Arctic Bay, a really high North community, and very connected to his lineage and also very Anglophone and very well read. And so we would go hunting together. We had a lot of fun seal hunting and ptarmigan and Arctic hare and not so much beluga whale, but walrus and bearded seal. And I learned, you know, I learned how to stretch a polar bear and you know, I learned how to observe. If this is something that I just love so much that has really changed my life fundamentally in the druid path that I study, in the Ayurvedic path that I study, and also the medicine, the other medicine paths that I study, is we used to learn by observation purely. Now we live in these single detached homes. We're all very proud of our own little houses with our own little green grasses, and that neighbor has this, and I have this, and we're all so amazing. We don't share lawnmowers. We don't, we you have my lawnmower, you have yours, and we all are have earned these things and we're so proud. You know, up there it's much more collective. And I've really learned that learning by observation. Inuit don't teach like traditionally. They're being kind of forced to now because that's the modern world. Like we only teach now because we're so separated. But we used to just learn by osmosis. So I remember a time when Gary's parents were they got a polar bear. I think Gary caught a polar bear. He had a tag, you have a tag, and not everybody gets to go hunting freely for polar bears. It's very regulated. So he was lucky enough to get a polar bear, which of course there's a beautiful story around that. But anyway, I wanted to help stretch the polar bear skin. And they're like, Christine, we don't have time. We we have a lot to do. It's springtime, you know, you're just gonna get in our way. We know what we're doing, we don't need you. It's like two elders, you know, young elders, his parents. I said, sadly, okay, I'm like, okay, fine. But I took the day off work anyway, and I sat on a rock, like away from them. And I just sat and I watched. And I was like, I know that Inuit teach by observation because think about it, they were in a community setting. Many people lived in an igloo in the winter or a hammock in the summer, which was a sod house. And they were very, it was for sleeping, you know, it was functional. The rest of the time they were out doing stuff. Kids were watching. They, even if it was out of the corner of their eye, they can see what there's what's going on. It just makes sense. They located what was happening and it was practical, and they know what they were drawn to. Oh, uncle whatever is doing this. I'm interested. I like hanging out with uncle whatever. So by osmosis, you would learn their trade and you would probably take that on. The girls may be the sewing. Who knows? It wasn't like strategically taught so so much. From what I understand, and I could be wrong. Someone else listening to this could have a different opinion. Just from my observation. So I sat on that rock and I waited and I watched and I was in awe, of course. Huge polar bear getting stretched on a big wood frame outside in the backyard. And then they got they got kind of stuck and they needed a hand. And they're like, Well, we got a convenient set of hands over there. So they're like, hey, Christine, come over here. I'm like, okay. So they get like, hold this. So I had to like hold a claw. They flip the anyway, whatever. I had to hold a claw. So then they saw that I'm not a complete idiot, and they're like, Whoa, she's holding it. She's doing a good job. The tension is good. We're gonna give her another job. And so that's how you get in. You know, here we're so quick. We want to learn something, and we like we pay the thing on the internet and we learn the thing. And now we're an expert at this, and we could put our little certificate on our website and be all proud. And I do a lot of initiatory work. My path has been in a path of initiation. So these are these are learning ways that I find we feel so much more rich inside when we are like initiated, not just certificate.

Peter Kolakovic 27:53

Sure, sure. So you're you're talking about, if I understand you correctly, the contrast between learning by studying and actually learning by doing or observing, which, you know, kind of go hand in hand. So, you know, you're out there hunting, you're talking about people making their own clothes, sewing. I understand you may have sewed your own parkas and boots. Yeah. So so what did that experience, as well as, you know, all of the other experiences that you were just talking about, what did all of that teach you about self-reliance?

Self-Reliance By Observation

Christine Lamothe 28:30

Just the act of learning those things with those experts who are not certified experts. They're just women. They're just women who know how to make boots. Like, and these boots take over a hundred hours to make. It's a whole process to make a pair of seal skin boots. And it builds community, and women come together, and the grandmothers teach you, and I'm left-handed, so I was a very complicated case for them.

Peter Kolakovic 28:59

Of course.

Christine Lamothe 29:00

You know, on top of not being native, like just so many things, and they're so joyful about it. And I'm trying to speak in nuktitude, and they're so gracious. They're so gracious. They accorded me a lot of grace. Yeah, I think I'm I think people recognize me as somebody who's kind of courageous and and self-reliant, but I didn't really, I just, you know, I've I've like been in nature a lot, so I'm not afraid to to take on stuff and get creative. Like I don't follow the rules of like a textbook. I live the experience and I I open my eyes. I don't have to have a sign. Like that's the thing about having signs everywhere all over the place. Turn left, turn right, go here. I think of the song Sun, signs everywhere, a sign blocking up my scenery, wasting my time. It's just like, be present with life and you will know where to go. But the more we put signs, the more people can check out and just be like, oh, I'm supposed to turn here. Okay, I turn here. And then they don't think for themselves.

Decolonizing Mind For Sovereignty

Christine Lamothe 30:01

So I think that's the self-reliance piece, is that I've been working on is decolonizing my brain to make myself sovereign. And what I mean by that is present with life in the moment. What is life asking me in this moment? And responding to that. Yes, I can have an idea of where I'm heading, and then life gives me the indications of where to go to how to make that to fruition and richer. So how to that's how I don't know, I feel like that's how I can answer the self-reliance question in a way.

Peter Kolakovic 30:35

So you you've also alluded to, you know, the whole idea of aboriginal, Inuit, traditional knowledge, which is, you know, somewhat different from the knowledge that is is passed down in in in Western societies. And there's an Inuit word for it, which I found online, and I have no idea how to pronounce it, and I'm not even sure that I think it's Inuit How Yi Maya tuhang yi. Thank you. That's exactly how I was going to say it.

Christine Lamothe 31:05

We say IQ, yeah. Inuit cau yi maya tu hang yi.

Peter Kolakovic 31:10

One more time.

Christine Lamothe 31:12

Inuit Inuit means people. Inuit means person, Inuit means people. The q is a k-ku ka sound. It's a k.

Peter Kolakovic 31:24

Okay. I'll have to practice that before I try pronouncing it, but so that from what I understand, you know, more or less translates to traditional knowledge. So, you know, you're kind of absorbing that in your in your journey and your time spent in the north. And, you know, eventually you come back to your hometown and kind of re-establish yourself very much into, you know, what I I guess I would loosely call the wellness industry, which, you know, has a lot of different components. But I just I want to understand how that how your exposure to that traditional knowledge kind of shaped or reshaped your approach to human wellness.

Christine Lamothe 32:13

Great question, Peter. I'm still integrating that. I did get introduced to yoga in 1998, so I was very into it before going to Nunavut. And in Nunavut, I sort of let go of a lot of my things, like a little bit astrology, a little bit moon charting, a little bit tarot, and all those things, because I felt I had been told that this is not something that Inuit are into. But it was not but from an Inuk that had told me that. So it was just somebody who was working at government who had hired me for some stuff. And I was working closely with her, and she had her own beliefs around things and understanding. So maybe she was right, maybe she was wrong. But I didn't want to impose more colonialism perspectives. And I know it's not colonialism, but I got things confused. So I dropped a lot of my spirituality because I was like, well, when in Rome. So I wanted to be with Inuit. I wanted to do the things Inuit did and just dive in. So I let go of a lot of things. And then there came a time when I needed to come home to take care of my mom and deal, take care of things

Returning Home To Wellness Work

Christine Lamothe 33:24

here. You know, my dad had died, my mom was getting worse and older. So I moved home and I went to massage school. And I just started, you know, I was going to the dances, the ecstatic conscious and conscious dances of Ottawa, and I was feeling really good. You know, I was refining myself. I had quit my government job. I opened a yoga studio in the Kaluid, like in 2013. I started building it. I got financing and I got funding, mostly financing. And it's so sad because I was in a in an article on the airline. I was front page of the airline about my yoga studio, and they wrote that I received $70,000 in funding. I'm like, girl, it was financing at like 10%. And now I look like I received all this free money from Nunabut. And I was like, it was financing, and I had to pay it back. Like, and that was really hard to read. And she couldn't fix it. It was already printed. Anyway, but I built a yoga studio and a wellness studio, and I taught breaking out of that. And then I started teaching yoga, you know, and because it was a passion for me. Yoga seriously completely changed my life. I was a I was a punk kid. Like I was just kind of street tough. Breaking is not for the, you know, breaking was not for the kids that had it easy. It was for the kids that were drawn to intense stuff, like spinning on your head and and battling, you know, it was it was very battle war against tension, polarity, like really strong stuff. And so in Nunava, yeah, so I taught that. And then I I had my yoga studio. I mixed all that stuff up. And till, you know, and I I left my government job because I felt that working at the government for me was just, it was, it was, I fell into the belief that it was soul sucking. And it can be for some people, and for some people, it totally works. But for me, it was not my environment. I did not enjoy it. I enjoyed the paychecks, but I did not enjoy, I enjoyed the work, but they started to change the work and I wasn't as free. So it was time for me to go and I invested fully in this yoga studio, but I took like an 80% pay cut. It was huge. And that was not going to be sustainable forever. And I was with an addict at the time, and I needed things to change. You know, I was discovering that the addiction was not really gone, it was just being hidden. And so, but we moved both of us here to try it out here, and it clearly became clear that I could not continue this way. So he moved back up north. And I, yeah, so I was here with my mom and and making sure things were okay in massage school. So that was a big entry point in massage school because I could refine my passion for for caring for humans to the degree that felt authentic to me. I felt I had to hold back in Nunavut. I didn't want to be, I was the loud white girl in a lot of ways. I'm I did everything. I was doing air search and rescue, I was doing skidoo competitions, I was doing igloo building contests, I had a yoga studio, I was the MC for all the festivals, like in French and English or whatever. Like I was loud, I was there, I was being myself. But I even then I felt I was dimming myself. Even I felt I was dimming myself. And here I could, there, there you're in a big pool with many fish. I can be loud. There's people louder than me. It wasn't loud necessarily like this, it's just fully elated. So coming home, I found the druid path, which is my lineage, which is why you you saw on my Instagram that I go as, you know, Christine Lamont McBain, because I'm reclaiming my original lineage, which feels good to me to explore that. So when I came home, bridging you know, I walked to the beat of my own drum. I've been saying people have been telling me that my whole life. And it's not an easy path to walk in so many ways. So coming back here, having had this Arctic experience, like who else has that experience here? And then I'm entering the wellness world. It's you know, I have experience going hunting with Inuit men who don't necessarily want a white girl out hunting with them, but Gary being my partner, he knows I want to be out there, so he's kind of forcing them to let me come along. And they're tough, you know? When you do things, you do things, and you certainly don't want to be the the last one packing your tent and having your gear ready. So I was always like first on my skido, ready, waiting, or helping. So I learned, I learned, I think if the biggest thing I learned is how to be a community person. If there's anything, it's like I'm not in it for myself. And most ancient cultures are like that. They recognize that we are a biodiverse network. We're not, we like to think that we're like super solo and super independent and like, but like why? Why do we want to be so individuated? Who the hell are we trying to show this to? Still trying to prove to our parents that we're worthy of something. No, like we're here to be together, and you don't need to be the best. Like, you have a place, they have a place, and together, together we can raise this thing up. And that's what I learned a lot from from Nunavut. And then it brought me on the medicine path. You know, I always said I wanted to be in, I wanted to be more in nature. I wanted to learn from the first people, the original people, which my ancestors in the Celtic way, just like your ancestors, we've all lived on the land. We all have that wisdom in us. It's just we're in different landscapes, it's expressed differently. That's all.

Peter Kolakovic 39:13

Right, right, right. So, you know, as you transitioned, you were moving from this high-intensity world of breaking and doing all this other fascinating stuff that you were doing in Nunavut. You mentioned search and rescue stuff and you know, all sorts of stuff. So you're transitioning from that high intensity to the, you know, the stillness, the more contemplative world of yoga and meditation. So can you talk a little bit about the contrast during that transition?

Christine Lamothe 39:47

I love that. This is probably where my voice is gonna slow down and da-da-da, which is why I love this. Yeah, like the Ayurveda is just teaching me so much how to like fully embody the human while also recognizing the deep well that is connected to the all and dancing that that interrelationship, if that's one little way of saying

Muji Somatics And Inner Awakening

Christine Lamothe 40:13

it. You know, I was introduced to Muji's work when I lived in the Arctic. I had a yoga teacher come up in the world.

Peter Kolakovic 40:20

Sorry, sorry, sorry to interrupt, but can you explain who Muji is?

Christine Lamothe 40:23

Yes. Muji is just, for lack of better word, like an awakened being who has a beautiful feminine kind of side to the way he holds. So he's a man originally from Jamaica who grew up in London, and he was awakened by uh his master that he that is called Papaji over in India, and he just woke up to the truth of who he is, which is not the persona of Tony, who is originally Anthony, Anthony, who he was before, or he is, he still is. That we can all awaken to this being that's far beyond this identified self that we formed in our minds and that we live out. And and so he's one of these people who can guide those who feel drawn to his work. It's not for everyone, but yeah. So I was, he lives uh in in Portugal at Monte Sahaja. It's like kind of an ashram that they've put together in their beautiful community, and they create a lot of music and art, and just, you know, that's what happens when you you connect to the to life is art, music, and poetry come out of you. Yeah. So that's Muji.

Peter Kolakovic 41:36

That's Muji. So you were talking about Yeah, you were talking about being inspired by Muji in your own personal journey towards or, you know, exploring wellness, exploring yoga, meditation-related disciplines.

Christine Lamothe 41:51

Yeah, I was introduced to yoga in 98 through a friend, Bikram. That's the only one I would have ever done because I was very intense. Pitta, that was in my fire years. So I would not do your yoga that would be calm. Like I thought that was for, you know, wimps. And yeah, and so, but then I did bikram, you know, the military, and then I became serious about it, and then I got into kundalini, and I was very serious about kundalini, and then I got into Ashtanga, and then the vinyasa scene started to come online. I was like, what is this vinyasa? It's just anything goes yoga. But I was like, I'm into it. It's creative, it's dancy, it's fine. And so, you know, but I I like going to the core of things. I like classical traditional wisdom. I don't like watered down stuff like beer yoga and wine yoga. I'm sorry forever, you know. I don't want to spoil it for you, but I'm not into that. I like the pure thing. So, of course, I learned about Ayurveda in 1998, and I want to go to India, but that just seemed like way too far. And I didn't have Hanuman at the time to hop on his back and cross overseas. I was too scared. That's okay. I needed to live out what I needed to live out. So now I was drawn to it, you know. But I I did like what a lot of people do is I enjoyed the lifestyle. I enjoyed the conversations about the spiritual stuff. I enjoyed thinking I was better than everybody. And, you know, I found this well of wisdom, and I'm the knower of these things, and you don't know anything if you're not doing these things. I did that with veganism. It's just, it's such a pitta nature. It's such a such a fiery aries energy. Anyway, till like you get a cosmic bitch lap, you know? And I've gotten many, many cosmic bitch laps. So I get, you know, I get back here and and Muji, and then, you know, I I know there's truth in what Muji's saying, you know. I get introduced to him in like 2009, but then it's too subtle. I'm not ready for that level level of subtlety, you know? So I'm into Joe Dispenza. I love Joe Dispenza, but Joe Dispenza, it's not so subtle. It's more like for those of us who want. Take the dip, but we want to keep our person. Not just for this, it's my experience. I want to keep some identity. I want this to be all done through the person. You know, I want experiences. I want to experience enlightenment. So that's okay. That's the starting point. That's like a it's a it's a juvenile approach for me. I'll say it like that. No disrespect to anybody else. And then you keep turning around in circles. I just kept turning around in circles and also doing my shadow work and working with a therapist. I'd been working in somatics, like having a somatic therapist for 16 for 10 years, which is just feeling the body. It'll bypass all your mind stuff. You can waste many years with cognitive behavioral therapy. Your body will literally transmute 15 years of therapy in like two minutes if you give it a chance. So I'm doing all this stuff, and then little by little, you know, the heart calls you. If you're earnest on your path, the nudges will come. And I asked till finally I asked, listen, I'm done with the dancing around in circles, you know? Just corner me, universe. Corner me so that I have no way out. But through the thin eye of the needle, the pin, the tip of the pin of the needle, that I have to pass through that, and nothing that's not me goes through with me. Straight into the heart.

Peter Kolakovic 45:34

Hmm. So you were touching upon, you know, your preference for what you I think termed as traditional wisdom, which you've been kind of alluding to throughout this conversation.

Panchakarma Ayurveda Detox And Integration

Peter Kolakovic 45:51

And you also mentioned Ayurveda a couple of times, and I know that you've recently been to India where you went on a bit of a, what would you call it, a purification journey through something called Panchakarma. So can you talk a little bit about that journey and how it might have changed your relationship with your body, with your mind, with your soul?

Christine Lamothe 46:18

I for me, because of this where I'm at in my life, it was the for me the most transformational thing that I needed to do. And I set myself up years leading up, kind of without knowing it, because I'm listening to the universe. I just get guided.

Peter Kolakovic 46:40

And so can you set it up? Like what is Panchakarma?

Christine Lamothe 46:44

Yeah. Panchakarma is a three-week process. I mean, it's vast, but in a nutshell. It's a three-week process where you would generally be at a center that, in this case, it was a Vedic village in the south of India in a in a jungle, and but like really like done up. It's not like uh wild. And you are sattvik. So sattvik is a very clean, pure energy. You have rajasik, which is like how to, it's like the energy of movement. It's moving you forward. Tamasik is the energy of like rest, but it can also go into deep rest if we do it too much. And rajasik can make us too hyper. So our aim in the in this way is to be sattvik. It's like the woo-way, it's the middle path, like the all traditions have something for a name for this. So sattvik. And you are assessed by a doctor or multiple doctors, and you're watched very carefully throughout a three-week process of cleansing and purification. So the first week is sort of getting the body ready. The second week, like pushing the energies to channels that can be taken out. So if you have things stored in your body, your mind, your spirit in certain places, it they have a way, that's how intelligent Ayurveda is, to move those energies to some of the channels that in the second week in your purification, you can express them, you can expel them. Whether it's your digestion or your sweat or other means. Me, because I'm Vata Pitta, it would be my digestion. That's where things would get stored for me. And so, yeah, we had processes for that. And then on the third week, you're rejuvenating. So after that, they hold you in a rejuvenating. And then three months after that, on your own at your house, you want to really be careful because those three months are your integration and done right is incredible. I did it, I would say I did it right for once. I like took care of myself. I didn't jump into old ways that I knew myself. And so your things that happen over there, most likely you're gonna get a massage every day. Four-handed massage. Yeah, with oil, specific oils to your body. If you're like me, small and vata, you're gonna get oils because they want to add uncuousness to your body. If you're somebody who's overweight, you're probably gonna get massaged with different things, different kinds of herbs and whatnot. I got milk. I got milk massages from the cows that were on site. So that's that's that. And yeah, so then it cleared my mind. All this ADHD, I don't, I wouldn't say I have ADHD. I'm able to focus in ways I've never been able to focus. I thought I was like stuck in this for the rest of my life. I I actually feel this last few months that I can say, I honestly feel I'm living beyond the veil of the trauma that I've been living in. People who have CPTSD and PTSD, they kind of see their life through this identified lens they don't realize. But now I feel like a lot freer. Like I feel like I can just be Christine and I don't really care what other people think. And it's not, I don't care. It's like I get to express the Christine that the universe has permitted to be walking on this earth in this very specific, unique way of the Christine character. And I get to play her out fully. And it's like I find kindred spirits more and more now that we can just like play together. And it's like, it's not so freaking serious. Like, this life is very serious, but it's also a gem that needs to be polished and take care of, and we should find joy in that. Or I find joy in that. We could find joy. I don't want to shud people, but we could. It's always an opportunity. It's really truly our choice in every moment how we view the thing.

Liberated Fun Through Simple Kindness

Peter Kolakovic 50:55

So you're talking about playing, you're talking about being free, and I know that in the past you've referred to your vision of helping to create a unified global family of liberated fun.

Christine Lamothe 51:11

Ah, did I build that somewhere? Oh, that's on my website.

Peter Kolakovic 51:15

That's in that that's on your website. So what is that what does that mean and what does that look like in your daily practice?

Christine Lamothe 51:21

Okay, like that's so ambitious, but okay, I'll I'll accept it. Well, I love it. That's when I was still very ambitious. It just starts with each breath, man. It starts with returning to your center. For me, I have lived outside myself my whole life. I am living from my center in first now and giving it only because it's a natural osmosis that it will be given. But I I nurture myself. So I do things, I am allowed now, I feel worthy enough, which I didn't for most of my life. That do I feel, do I enjoy doing this thing? Yeah, I do. I enjoy renovating this house. I enjoy, I just fixed the Mustang, the convertible. The convertible was leaking water from the roof. I found the little hole and I built a patch and I patched my own freaking thing and I enjoyed it. So for me, there's no ambitious grand thing. Every moment I connect with somebody from the heart is an opportunity. A woman was doing something funny at the mall. She took the cart and it was buzzing and it wasn't letting her go further, and she didn't know why. And I was watching her and I was just laughing inside, but not at her. And I was like, hey, I don't think you're allowed to take that thing far. And she's like, is that what it is? And I'm like, Do you need a hand? I'll carry those things to your car. And then I helped her and I helped her the whole way through, bring the cart back to the mall. And she couldn't believe that someone would have the time to help her. She's like, you must be busy. You have other. I'm like, there is nothing more that I rather be doing right now than this most fun, entertaining thing, than this moment. And she was just in awe. You could see her jaw was dropped, her eyes, you saw the child in her wake up again. I think those little moments, this I could tell, brought her back to hope in humanity, which a lot of people are not having this hope for humanity right now. And I know you're absolutely right in pulling that up from my website because that when you let love truly flow from your heart, that is not love that has an agenda in any way, shape, or form, it sparks people up all around you. And I'll say one thing too. I've been watching near-death experience videos on YouTube, and I feel like they're all touching. The people can't always integrate them right away because it was shocking to them, but they've had an awakening. That was an awakening that a lot of us have touched into in our own way, and we're all, this is all available to all of us. So that I watch those because they they titillate me. They excite me to see these people awakening to the love. That's why I wanted to say this, the love that's boundless, far beyond the love that we have, even in that moment that I gave to that woman, that was a pure childlike, loving moment to a sister. That only scratches the surface of the love that's available, but we need to get out of this game that we're playing of suffering. And then we can have fun together on this great earth that is giving us everything we need. This earth provides, and we think we don't have enough. First and foremost, that whole gratitude thing that people talk about, recognize, look around you. Don't take that for granted. My friend, my new friend that I talk to all the time, we say, Hey, I'll see you tomorrow morning. If God permits me another day to wake up, I'll call you, I'll message you if I get another day. That has been such a great practice for me.

Peter Kolakovic 55:07

Hmm. These small moments of personal connection, they they count for so much, don't they? Especially in a world that is so full of, so rife with anxiety and depression and you know, sense of isolation amongst so many people these days.

Meditation For Anxiety And Presence

Peter Kolakovic 55:30

Yeah, so you know, touching upon that, how do you think, because you've got your own very unique energy that you bring to the world, so how can others, you know, in in your based on your own experience, how can others use their own unique energy as a catalyst for inspiration rather than a reason for anxiety or isolation?

Christine Lamothe 55:55

Man, I mean, that's the question, eh? I I had that struggle for so long because I hated myself and I thought I didn't deserve, and I thought I wasn't worthy, and I thought that I was wrong and I was broken in the world, you know, like it's endless. That's so tormenting. That's why I love those NDEs, because the near-death experiences, because you just get the frick over yourself. Everyone is equally special. We're all special, and so is everybody else. And that anxiety, oh my God, how to get over it? I still have I still have some of it.

Peter Kolakovic 56:37

But oh, that's that's the question. Are there certain practices that you think, you know, for someone who is, let's say, not an awakened bear or, you know, whatever their spirit animal happens to be, are there, you know, some some baby steps that they can take to, you know, start to come out of their shell and feel alive again?

Christine Lamothe 56:59

Oh my God, honey. I want to hug each and every one of them. You know, I guess what's coming up, it's like, is there a way to remember the spark? What sparks you, even just a little tiny bit, and give that a little bit of energy. I do think that gratitude is big. I think that notice the friends you hang out with and what your conversations are about. What do you, what do you value? What do you value in your conversations? And you can feel the energy when it shifts. You know, I used to gossip so much and it was so negative and it was so heavy. And you start to feel it in your body that, like, this doesn't feel good. And it's okay to mess up, and you can just stop in the moment. You could stop yourself in your tracks, and you could be like, you know what? I actually don't want to feed this energy anymore. It doesn't feel good in my body. So practices for sure some type of meditation because the mind is only I saw it the other morning. I was lying in my bed three days ago in the morning. I saw the suggestions of the mind thoughts. And I was like, I don't have to pick any of those up. They're the mind, you have to understand that you are not your mind. It's a function of the human. It's a tool while we live on this earth to use, to create stuff, to guide us. It's a it's a processing system, but we've kind of given our power so much to it. And it that's why meditation gives us a break to sit back a little bit. And while I saw the mind suggesting a thought that I could just jump into and be like, oh yeah, and like expand it and have drop-down menus about the whole freaking thing, you know? And I was like, no, not interested. Because there's a there's a witness, there's a consciousness that's not that. And I saw it so clearly. And if you can see something, Muji says this. If you can see something, then you're not that. If you could see it, then it's not you because you could see it. Can your eyes see it themselves? No. They're not anyway, so then they're their own thing. Anyway, so a practice, I would say absolutely meditation. And to me, meditation is sitting and detaching from everything you think you are, everything you believe this world to be, and just give it a rest. Just give it a rest for a moment. You only see that because you've been indoctrinated by your culture, your life, your family, not a not in a bad way. That's the culture we live in. What we've been exposed to is what we believe, and we create all these constructs, and then we build our whole house of cards and we look through that, and it's like the card the cards fall. And now, so when you meditate, that can all go the domino go right over time, and you can just sit and be like, huh, okay, that's a thought, whatever. And it takes time, ma'am. It's loud in there. So don't think that you're gonna get it overnight. People think, oh, my mind's so busy, I can't meditate. Who's the I that can't meditate? There's an eye behind that eye, and your meditation will bring you there. But you have to give it a chance. And if you're not interested in it, then you're not gonna give it a chance. But one day you might need to give it a chance because you're gonna hit that wall. And I hope you hit it before it gets too painful.

Peter Kolakovic 1:00:45

I think it was Ramana Maharshi, the Indian sage, who said that the mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master, which is kind of what you were touching upon just now. And I know from having studied a bit of Ramana Maharshi that the central question, you know, that he was encouraging people to consider during their meditation was to ask themselves, Who am I? And it goes to exactly what you were talking about. When you strip away everything that we think we are, there's still something there that is our core identity beyond our, you know, small s self, beyond our ego.

What Living Your Best Life Means

Peter Kolakovic 1:01:30

Christine, we've uh I can't believe it, but we've already come to the end of our conversation, and I have uh well, I have a thousand more questions for you, but I'm just going to ask you one last question. Since the theme of this podcast is my best life, sounds like you are someone that has been living her best life, so I'd just like to get your perspective on what it means for someone to live their best life.

Christine Lamothe 1:01:57

I love it. Because I can give myself permission to be honest about this question, my answer. And I was talking about it already this morning with my friend Sean. Like really being honest about what you like. Not because it brings you money, not because it brings you friends. If you were really freaking honest, you've done everything in the world that you've wanted to do, what would you do? People ask this question all the time, but to actually like really inquire, living your best life is going for that, but not from the like manifestation movement thing, well, it could be that, but really knowing yourself, like this inquiry, like maybe first really know yourself, and then I really think just like the trees and the birds and the flowers, life will move through you, and you won't need to do so much, and you'll be in awe. Like, oh this person just crossed my path, and that was an amazing because I was so present, but I didn't need them to do that, and I didn't need to be somewhere else, I was just here. So I think living your life is basking in the gift of presence, shared presence with others, but really presence. We don't have long on this little blue planet. We don't have long. And there's a way to live it and not be in constant suffering. When you when you dissolve into yourself and let that inner place guide you. And it's not as hard as you think, and you won't lose anything. You think you're gonna lose, but you're not losing anything. That stuff is stressing you out and it's using up all your energy. That's hopefully that answered the question.

Peter Kolakovic 1:04:13

Absolutely. Christine Lamotte, awakened bear. Thank you so much for thank you so much for speaking with me today.

Christine Lamothe 1:04:23

It was my pleasure, Peter. Thank you for doing this. So beautiful.